How big is Levi Johnston’s “johnson”?

Posted on | November 28, 2009 | 8 Comments

Okay, fine. I know what you’re thinking…It’s Thanksgiving time and I should not be doing a post about Levi Johnston’s “johnson”! Hey, we’ll do anything to embarrass Sarah Palin here, so it just makes sense to talk about his ‘johnson’ at this time!

I hope Sarah Palin gets caught with a copy of Playgirl in her book tour bus. *fingers crossed* It will just be one more moment of hypocrisy we can talk about!

As of right now, no one knows how big or small Levi’s ‘johnson’ is because, well, in his Playgirl spread he’s covering it up (hat tip to a reader who sent the link to these pics). But don’t worry! We do know what Carrie Prejean’s nipple most likely looks like if we use our imagination and we do know she can sing very loudly when pleasuring herself, but what I don’t understand is why she said this: “Americans heard only bits and pieces of what really happened…I think that there is a liberal bias in the media, and it’s unfortunate that conservative women are attacked for their beliefs. It’s unacceptable and it shouldn’t happen. So many Americans are frustrated. So many Americans believe that their beliefs are under attack, and they should be silent and free speech doesn’t exist.”.

(Say wha? It’s our fault she has sucky morals and continues to make stupid sexual mistakes all by herself? What does Carrie believe in again? Oh that’s right! Hating the gays, posing nude, lying and deceiving to cover her ass, acting like the victim, and masturbating alone in her basement for her boyfriend (she was fine with Sean Hannity asking her about playing with herself in front of a camera she set up….oh but when Larry King asked her why her suit against the pageant was dropped ole Carrie didn’t want to talk about it! She only talks to greasy slimeballs apparently)! But I thought conservative men and women don’t do anything sexual until they’re married? I thought they ’side hugged’ because they’re so much better than the rest of us and have the highest morals ever recorded in human history? Huh.)

Anyway, Levi will be teasing us with his penis now. We will have to use our imaginations people! I’m thinking Levi is way bigger than Todd Palin, and well, Sarah could get easily distracted on her book tour if you know what I mean….

Comments

8 Responses to “How big is Levi Johnston’s “johnson”?”

Grant in Texas
November 28th, 2009 @ 12:15 pm

Sarah may have screwed up denying Levi access to his son, causing him to turn on her to get revenge. Hopefully he isn’t being used by others, exploited due to his Palin connection. A high school drop-out, he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Someone did have enough sense to keep his “johnson” covered in the photo shoot keeping America guessing about what it was that once enthralled Bristol Palin.

I see he has “Johnston” tattooed up one arm so he, at least, will never forget his name. Being from a dysfunctional family (his mother was just sent to prison for selling oxycontin…but not to Rush Limbaugh which may have saved her!), I hope he has a good life.
kayinmaine
November 28th, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

I feel bad for Levi most days, Grant. He’s a good looking guy and could be a model to earn a living. The fact that he’s a thorn in Sarah’s side, though, makes me very happy. Bravo Levi! As far as his ‘johnson’ goes and the size of it. He’s young. Just saying. LOL
AIO
November 28th, 2009 @ 1:59 pm

Yeah, I’m liking Levi more and more now that he is on Sarah’s case. I’m glad that he didn’t show it all because the Moose Head would have used that to discredit him; like she tried to do by calling Levi Ricky Hollywood.
AIO
November 28th, 2009 @ 2:06 pm

Seems like Carrie out of her jeans has gone (thankfully) silent since her interview with LK.
Lisa K.
November 29th, 2009 @ 7:21 am

Both of them are breathtaking, jaw-dropping idiots as far as I am concerned.

This has gotten so personal between them, you have to wonder if maybe they weren’t burning the sheets themselves while Bristol was at work…
kayinmaine
November 29th, 2009 @ 8:16 am

Burning the sheets! Well, Lisa K., these two sleeping together wouldn’t shocking at this point. This family doesn’t seem conventional at all.
Grant in Texas
November 29th, 2009 @ 10:55 am

Are we talking about Republican “FAMILY VALUES” here? Meet the Press just gave the Rev. Rick Warren a half hour to preach. He says that “every 16 year old boy slipping on a condom KNOWS when life begins”! Too bad that Levi and Bristol didn’t get the best of sex education and used a condom. So smothering a billion sperm in a condom isn’t also killing possible future life? Many religions are even against condoms or ANY birth control.

Rev. Rick was also talking about the “holocaust” of 47 million American fetuses since Roe v. Wade and happy it was cut out of the health care proposals (bet he is against choice in healthcare, too, just as he is against a woman’s right to choose what she does with her own body). However most abortions are not of fetuses but of early term embryos, even blastocysts a few days old…a ball of undefined cells not much bigger than the period at the end of this sentence.

Rev. Rick is still most anti-gay even with his “Christian” contortionist play on words. He does condemn fundamentalism whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or “secular/atheist”! Wonder how many “atheists” go around loudly preaching, knocking on doors, handing out tracts, pressuring politicians?

What on Earth was Obama thinking by asking Rev. Warren to preach at the Inauguration? Pandering to the reich-wing fundies? Obama should give up as these racist reich-wingers as they will NEVER like him.
kayinmaine
November 29th, 2009 @ 11:27 am

What is so interesting is the part in the health care bill about abortion services is ABOUT MAKING SURE FEDERAL MONEY IS NOT USED FOR ABORTIONS. Rev. Warren and all of the republicans in the House of Reps (minus one) is FOR FEDERAL FUNDING OF ABORTIONS apparently! Nice, huh?

Grant, I can’t even remember what Warren said at Obama’s inauguration. LOL! Seriously, Obama is all about reaching across the aisle, but he knows that we liberals will make up our own minds about Warren and others.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

GLENN BECK AT CPAC 2010: ‘Hello, my name is the Republican Party, and I’ve got a problem. I’m addicted to spending and big government…I’m addicted to spending and I just don’t want to spend today.’ (CLICK HERE FOR LINK TO QUOTE)

"If by a “Liberal” they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a “Liberal,” then I’m proud to say I’m a “Liberal.” ~ John F. Kennedy, 1960