To make themselves feel better, conservatives have decided to edit the Bible to take out all the liberal passages

I’m not surprised. When you’re a phony religious asshole and you’re far removed from the REAL teachings of Jesus, you would then resort to editing the Bible to make yourself feel better and not look like the complete asshole you are!

Speaking of overly religious assholes who have to control everything around them so as not to be found out they’re a complete asshole….

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From the Huffington Post:

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That’s the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it’s the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: “Lack of precision in the original language … lack of precision in modern language” and “translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.”

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

This is one more reason why I despise the republican party and the overly religious. You’re too hypocritical for your own good! Please be damned to all eternity. The End. No further discussion is needed. You won’t play by the rules, so neither will we. Gawd hates you!

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12 thoughts on “To make themselves feel better, conservatives have decided to edit the Bible to take out all the liberal passages

  1. Pingback: Posts about Huffington Post as of October 5, 2009 » The Daily Parr

  2. I guess the cons thunk there is too much Jesus and not enuf reich wing free market jebus touting how great the rich are huh?

    • They know we liberals are correct when we say Jesus was a liberal. Now they have to edit the bible to make it appear as if Jesus is a hedgefund manager! See Clif? I hate them. Have I told that to you lately? If not….*pushing Volumes 238-1,056 to you*. :-)

  3. Oh, Sweet Baby Jeebus w/a Port Wine Reduction!!!???!? Yet another version of editing the alleged wurd of gahd to suit a certain group’s needs.
    The only way the buybull needs to be reworked (and it is now) is in LOLcat form!
    The way the cons are going to cut stuff, it’s gonna look like the contract scene in the Marx Brothers’ “A Night At The Opera”!!! Yeeeeeeesh!
    I don’t mind Jesus, but his fan club is off the hizzy! If he does come back, I hope it’s to deliver a sound b*tchslapping to those idjits for getting it sooooo wrong.

  4. Some on the right have thought of Adam Smith as a god for a long time…guess it’s true!

  5. Actually grant the cons would be very disappointed if Adam Smith came back, cause he was against the right of a corporation to even exist, and he wanted a progressive tax system to help level the playing field.

    See here,

    and reference these paragraph headings;

    1. Adam Smith was pro-labor

    2. Adam Smith distrusted and denounced the capitalist class

    3. Adam Smith argued against corporate privilege

    4. Adam Smith argued for investment at the local or domestic level

    5. Adam Smith advocated taxing the rich

    6. Adam Smith observed that state power could be used to protect human rights

    7. Adam Smith looked to government-supported education to mitigate the effects of the division of labor

    As such Adam Smith would be much more of a liberal then conservative today, but don’t tell the id-a-jest who quote the invisible hand with out knowing what baggage comes from that quoting.

    In reality Adam Smith most probably would be one of globalisation’s sharpest critic based on his writings. Bet that would shock the reich wing wouldn’t it?

  6. It’s Adam Smith’s “free market” un-restrained (read unregulated) capitalism that the conservatives love to worship but then they are often good at taking words “out-of-context”…picking and choosing in order to skew words in a direction to support their beliefs. They are even doing the same to holy scripture as this group described above who plan to rewrite the Bible.

    The U. of Chicago School of Economics with its Friedman and Strauss touted Smith’s laissez-faire economics to “make a statement of their devotion to the idea of free markets and limited government” according to the late economist Herbert Stein.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Stein

    Ronald Raygun then put such complicated language in more simpler terms, that greed is good, that “government is the problem”.

  7. The reich-wing fundies are going to have to really start over and rewrite the Gospels, ignore what Jesus REALLY said in them…things like:

    1. Obey the law and pay taxes (Oh my – Jesus today would be a Democrat or socialist)

    2. To love God foremost, to love their neighbors as themselves (Jesus must have been some sort of radical…a free love hippie)

    3. To disperse or distribute their wealth for the welfare of all, to follow the love of God and not the love of wealth and possessions
    (obviously Jesus would have difficulty being a capitalist, something which Michael Moore gets two Catholic priests and a bishop to agree with him in his new movie).

    4. Jesus demonstrated the separation between church and commerce when he threw the money changers and vendors out of the temple (That should keep him in high esteem in the capitalists/conservative circles who use their churches often to sell books, videos, constantly begging for money to build even larger multi-million dollar church buildings and who knows how much these preachers put in their pockets?)

    In short, most everything about Jesus Christ and his teachings do not support what has come to be called today’s “conservative” values when it comes to society in general and markets/finance in particular.

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