I know how desperate you must be. I mean, look in the mirror, girl. You ain’t getting any younger. So, if you’re willing to do anything for that shot to the moon, I have a plan for you. Now, this will take impeccable timing on your part, and, more importantly, it will timing without flaw on the part of a trusted friend. That last part might be hard for you to come up with, and I don’t blame you. If I were you, I’d be paranoid too. But if there is no friend you’d trust with your life, perhaps you can at least find someone whom you can pay to help you with this plan. Being a republican, I’m sure there are plenty of folks in your circle who are willing to do anything at all for money. So, come up with some cash and find someone. This is a sure-fired plan to give you that edge over all the other Ann coulter / Michelle Malkin wannabes out there:

Pick a very busy spot in your town and choose a time when it is its busiest. You’ll need a gallon or so of gasoline, a match or lighter, and depending on the noise level, perhaps a bullhorn. You should go to the busiest intersection and plop down right in front of everyone. Then, you douse yourself with gasoline and announce loudly that you are so committed to war in Iraq and so incensed by the evil liberal attempting to thwart the Global War on Terrah, that, in protest of them, you are going to burn yourself alive;

Now, you’ll have to stall until the television cameras get there, so here’s where your friend comes in. He comes running out of the crowd shouting, “Jenn, Jenn, don’t do it!” As he approaches you, you hold up the lighter and say “Stop! I have to do this for the love of my country!” “No, Jenn,” he pleads, “You are one of America’s most brilliant and articulate spokespersons for truth, justice, and the American way! We need you alive, Jenn! If you die, America dies with you!” Again, he tries to approach you. “Stand back!” you scream, “Everyday in Iraq, some brave, young soldier makes the ultimate scrifice for his country — not you or I, because we didn’t enlist — but some young soldier gives his all each day in Iraq! Now it is time for me to make the ultimate sacrifice! I regret that I have but one life to give to my country!” Your friend should now turn to the crowd accumulating and say, “Please! Somebody call Fox News! And call the police while you’re at it.” And, then, keep holding off until Fox gets there;

Now, this is where flawless timing comes in. When you are sure that the cameras are trained on you, you say, “All I have ever wanted to do with my life is to help my great country. If my life can’t be dedicated to that, then, I will dedicate my death to it!” That’s when you light yourself. Your friend, then, dashes over to a place within steps of you where he has hidden a fire extinguisher. “Thank God!” he screams, “A fire extinguisher! God wants you to LIVE, Jenn!” And with that, he unloads the fire extinguisher on you before you receive any potentially fatal burns. And, hey, your hair will grow back.

That should at least get your foot in the door. And, if not, you may have to give it up and get a real job. You won’t be the first, though. Hell, there are some parts of the country, if you throw a rock, you’ll hit a big time rightwing pundit wannabe.

The world designated the US as “the policeman of the world”. We didn’t want it, but you thrust it upon us. And, as with policemen everywhere, those who are policed don’t like it. Tough! If the remainder of the world is content to sit back on the arses and allow the US to spill it’s blood and spend it’s treasure to keep THEM safe, then, by God, you should have the courtesy to remain silent rather than condemning the only force on the planet able, and willing, to defend you!

“Experience proves that the man who obstructs a war in which his nation is engaged, whether right or wrong, occupies no enviable place in life or history. Better for him, individually, to advocate “war, pestilence, and famine” than to act as obstructionist to a war already begun. The history of the defeated rebel will be honorable hereafter, compared with that of the Northern man who aided him by conspiring against his government while protected by it. The most favorable posthumous history the stay- at-home traitor can HOPE for is — oblivion.”
Ulysses S. Grant

Have a nice, safe, day, sir!

Bush’s oil buddies would get it and we would have to pay for it. So Iraq isn’t giving us any oil. Gee I remember one of your glorious neocon leaders tell America that Iraqi oil would pay for the war…do you remember that lie among many lies?

Face it Jenn, whether you want to believe it or not the Iraq war was a colossal mistake in life and treasure. It has made a negative impact on our countries reputation, on our economy, on our future and on our own military which is now stretched beyond it’s means.

The equivalant of Bush attacking Iraq after 9/11 would have been FDR attacking Thailand after Pearl Harbor. You idiots on the reich need to wake up and stop believing you are better patriots then everyone else just because you support Bush and his decisions 100% I also recommend that you read “War Is A Racket” by General Smedly Butler a decorated marine from WWI. I provided the link below for you. Maybe this will open your eyes about why we really go to war. You can thank me later!

http://www.lexrex.com/enlightened/articles/warisaracket.htm

For those of you who are patriots and recognize the terrible, terrible danger we are in every second of every day, I want to know if you’ve found a way to secure your homes at night that goes a little more quickly. I’m averaging only about an hour and a half of sleep per 24 hours with all there is to be done at night. I’m not a rich man, so I can’t just hire people to do it for me. Any tips?

For those of you who call this madness, all I want to know is why do you want the terrorists to win? You scum maggots!

Good lord you’re a fruitcake.

Advocating for the suicide of your fellow Americans is the definition of insane. KAYINSANE.

You wouldn’t know reality if it smacked you upside the head with a steal tipped mallet.